My manager doesn’t listen. She is stubborn and bossy. I never seem to do anything right. I don’t like working with her. How can I get her to change?
I once had someone say that about me. For the sake of this email exchange, let’s call her Hannah. Hannah made the mistake of sharing her thoughts with another employee, Lee, who had a very different perspective of my management style. Lee and I had developed a strong working relationship and because she was quite concerned about what Hannah was saying, she shared the information with me. Learning this information provided an opportunity for me to try and figure out what was going on. I thought I was a pretty strong manager who came across with a friendly and inclusive style. Something was amiss here and I wanted to improve it.
Obviously, there is something amiss between you and your manager. The question I will ask you is: do you want to take responsibility for improving this relationship or do you want to wait until someone tells your manager what you think so she can begin to work on improving it?
It’s easy to complain about another person. I have certainly been guilty of that behavior. Over time, however, I have come to realize that complaining never changed anything about the situation. I needed to find solutions to my complaints and work with the person I was complaining about to improve the situation.
Now I know you are probably thinking that the manager should be taking the initiative to reach out to you. That’s true. But, she isn’t. So here is your time to lead. You can decide to take her behavior personally, lick your wounds and continue to complain. Or you can effect change. Change takes time. Many of us resist change – some more than others. There is no guarantee you will have a completely comfortable relationship with your manager, but it’s worth trying.
[message type=”success”]Give your manager time and an open mind. You might be pleasantly surprised.[/message]